i can't imagine my life without kimchi,
i really can't.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Youtube: Recommended for You
-How to make red velvet cake
-Poison Ivy (gross)
-psycho girlfriend
-eating healthy to lose weight
-how to get out of an abusive relationship
-Radiohead-creep
I log into my dusty rusty youtube account, and this is how i am greeted.
Okay i'll own up to the cake recipies, and radiohead isn't bad, but i am pretty sure youtube is just trying to make me out to be someone with issues.
-Poison Ivy (gross)
-psycho girlfriend
-eating healthy to lose weight
-how to get out of an abusive relationship
-Radiohead-creep
I log into my dusty rusty youtube account, and this is how i am greeted.
Okay i'll own up to the cake recipies, and radiohead isn't bad, but i am pretty sure youtube is just trying to make me out to be someone with issues.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Estelle, what did you learn this September?
I thought that it annoyed me that sales clerks are always over your shoulder, but then when they leave me be I find myself thinking something along the lines of, "I have a question about this sweater- where is the sales clerk and why is she slacking?"
Children are cute, and they can scream really loud.
Sometimes I think maybe I shouldn't buy ice cream this time because i've already had it every day this week, but then i hear my parents saying, "so what?"
One of the reasons I love making lists is because it's extremely fulfilling to finish things and cross them off.
The fact that there is a family here that fusses over me more than my own parents do can be frustrating, but if i stop to listen to what they have to say it is usually something I can learn.
If you watch the 3D animation of Mysterious Alien Pig Pipi, you can help save the galaxy from garbage capsules being rocketed into space.
If you shop at the same self owned discount store as your neighbor, you might end up with the same basketball shorts as her son.
Children are cute, and they can scream really loud.
Sometimes I think maybe I shouldn't buy ice cream this time because i've already had it every day this week, but then i hear my parents saying, "so what?"
One of the reasons I love making lists is because it's extremely fulfilling to finish things and cross them off.
The fact that there is a family here that fusses over me more than my own parents do can be frustrating, but if i stop to listen to what they have to say it is usually something I can learn.
If you watch the 3D animation of Mysterious Alien Pig Pipi, you can help save the galaxy from garbage capsules being rocketed into space.
If you shop at the same self owned discount store as your neighbor, you might end up with the same basketball shorts as her son.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Dear Korea,
I love your nights, i love your lights, i love your streets.
I love your rice, i love your spice, i love your meats.
Dear Korea,
your customer service is impeccable, your prices are cheap
for six thousand won i get a great place to sleep.
Dear Korea,
I apologize for if i ever whine or complain.
you're not at fault for the homesickness in my brain
Dear Korea,
your mountains are beautiful your love is for free,
thank you for taking good care of me.
sincerely,
sincerely,
sincerely,
sincerely,
naomi.
I love your rice, i love your spice, i love your meats.
Dear Korea,
your customer service is impeccable, your prices are cheap
for six thousand won i get a great place to sleep.
Dear Korea,
I apologize for if i ever whine or complain.
you're not at fault for the homesickness in my brain
Dear Korea,
your mountains are beautiful your love is for free,
thank you for taking good care of me.
sincerely,
sincerely,
sincerely,
sincerely,
naomi.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sometimes i look at an abstract painting and think, this could enthrall you for hours.
You could glance at it and see what images your life experience thus far instantly pulls out of it. then you could study it deeply and find something you didn't see right away. you can try to imagine what the artist was feeling, you can understand what emotion it strikes in you. you can see many small things or a big picture. and just when you think you've got the feel of this painting you could turn it ninety degrees and start all over again, and then do that twice more.
it would be neat to see giant third and even fourth dimensional art, like something you could walk through and experience. Sometimes i can imagine how it might be like, and i just can't wait to see something like it.
I used to worry when i was little that because there is so much music in the world, that we would run out of melodies and no one would be able to write songs anymore. But when i see how much more we have to explore and expand in the world of art, i feel like what we have now is really just the tip of the ice burg.
it feels really comforting, and exciting.
You could glance at it and see what images your life experience thus far instantly pulls out of it. then you could study it deeply and find something you didn't see right away. you can try to imagine what the artist was feeling, you can understand what emotion it strikes in you. you can see many small things or a big picture. and just when you think you've got the feel of this painting you could turn it ninety degrees and start all over again, and then do that twice more.
it would be neat to see giant third and even fourth dimensional art, like something you could walk through and experience. Sometimes i can imagine how it might be like, and i just can't wait to see something like it.
I used to worry when i was little that because there is so much music in the world, that we would run out of melodies and no one would be able to write songs anymore. But when i see how much more we have to explore and expand in the world of art, i feel like what we have now is really just the tip of the ice burg.
it feels really comforting, and exciting.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
hello china
i see that i am getting very popular with chinese spammers.
(don't worry, not you rebecca)
i wonder how that came to be.
(don't worry, not you rebecca)
i wonder how that came to be.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
i have a new recipe
i went to the store, and i bought some stuff that looked yummy. then i was walking home, and i bought some cherry tomatoes from the side of the street.
so i decided to make something tasty for dinner.
i first put olive oil in my little baking tin thing. then i chopped my baby tomatoes in half and covered the bottom of the dish with them. and also an excessive amount of some leaf/herb thing i bought.
then, i cracked two eggs into the dish, just kind of over everything, and salted everything over.
if i had pepper, i would have added that too.
then i put it in the toaster oven for about seven minutes, until the tomatoes are soft and the egg white is white and somewhat solidified but not too hard.
annd then i ate it and it was a very nice alternative to cup ramen.
so i decided to make something tasty for dinner.
i first put olive oil in my little baking tin thing. then i chopped my baby tomatoes in half and covered the bottom of the dish with them. and also an excessive amount of some leaf/herb thing i bought.
then, i cracked two eggs into the dish, just kind of over everything, and salted everything over.
if i had pepper, i would have added that too.
then i put it in the toaster oven for about seven minutes, until the tomatoes are soft and the egg white is white and somewhat solidified but not too hard.
annd then i ate it and it was a very nice alternative to cup ramen.
Friday, May 14, 2010
tiny
Korea is a small country, at least compared to America. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
for example, when a famous korean music group came to campus, i was thinking, "wow, they came so far just to play at a university". And then i realized, well they can't have had to travel more than like a hundred, hundred fifty miles tops to get here. And since they're really only famous in Korea, it's not like they don't have time because they're touring fifty cities or something. all they had to do was hop on a train/helicopter for thirty minutes to two hours, and that's it.
And today we went on a "cultural field trip". I got on the bus, and i was wondering how long the ride was going to be.
But then i realized it doesn't matter to ask, because the country is so small that we couldn't be driving for thatt long until we hit the coast. And even if did drive that long in the end i wouldn't care, because we would be at the beach.
but like in america, who knows? we could drive for days and still be in the same country. especially texas being so big, to drive to another city in texas could take hours, so it is always good to know about how long your drive will be. but here, it's usually never more than an hour to get anywhere.
it's kind of cool, because everything is so accessible. but at the same time, it's so small therefore so not diverse and that's not cool.
it's just a funny feeling to live in a country smaller than your state.
for example, when a famous korean music group came to campus, i was thinking, "wow, they came so far just to play at a university". And then i realized, well they can't have had to travel more than like a hundred, hundred fifty miles tops to get here. And since they're really only famous in Korea, it's not like they don't have time because they're touring fifty cities or something. all they had to do was hop on a train/helicopter for thirty minutes to two hours, and that's it.
And today we went on a "cultural field trip". I got on the bus, and i was wondering how long the ride was going to be.
But then i realized it doesn't matter to ask, because the country is so small that we couldn't be driving for thatt long until we hit the coast. And even if did drive that long in the end i wouldn't care, because we would be at the beach.
but like in america, who knows? we could drive for days and still be in the same country. especially texas being so big, to drive to another city in texas could take hours, so it is always good to know about how long your drive will be. but here, it's usually never more than an hour to get anywhere.
it's kind of cool, because everything is so accessible. but at the same time, it's so small therefore so not diverse and that's not cool.
it's just a funny feeling to live in a country smaller than your state.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
carousel
i think it would be really really neat,
to make a hugee merry go round.
huge i say
but you have to wake up kind of early to ride. so when you first get on your llama, you're carouseling maybe in a forest early in the morning when it's just starting to get bright but is mostly still dark, and it's super magical. and there are just so many trees, and it smells so fresh and it's just so quiet.
and then it goes to a desert as the sun is rising and it's all sand and no matter how far you look, you can't see anything manmade just all sky and sand dunes and colors.
and then a jungle rainforest kind of thing in the morning, and part of it is a pocket of jungle with a big waterfall with really clear sparkly water.
then during day it goes to prairie fields, with a super blue sky and a lot a lot of wind,
and then it reaches somewhere way up north and the sky is gray because it's snowing and you just go through a forest of trees that are all covered in snow, and everything gives off a white glow.
and during late afternoon it's a pond and all the reeds and all the ducks, and everything is warm orange,
then it's sunset and you're at the beach and the waves are so big and so loud and you even might get splashed a little, and then this guy comes out of the center of the merry go round and gives you an ice cream cone.
and the air smells salty and now the sun is going down.
and then it's night and you're just somewhere, but it's hard to say because it's pouring and raining and thundering so hard, but in the back you can barely make out the mountains and you have nothing to do and no worries and no obligations and it's just so peaceful and the rain is so thick and it's all you can hear.
then the sky clears up, and it's midnight and the ride ends. and you get off, and you're just so so tired cause it's been a long day.
the ending of the ride is the perfect backyard, i guess it's yours. maybe mine. with really soft lush grass, and this is the part where you just lay in the grass and look at the sky, because it has five million stars, and then fall asleep.
some parts of your ride, have music.
so far the songs are: steven kravis' "through the kaleidoscope", "dawn" by Jean-Yves Thibaudet , Beethovens seventh symphony, Settler by Balmorhea, and Chopin's opus 25 no15 Raindrops prelude. and this one acoustic guitar solo song that i have no idea what the name is or who it's by, but it's very pretty i assure you.
and this merry go round only goes in one circle.
and if you try to comprehend how in the world it works, you don't win.
to make a hugee merry go round.
huge i say
but you have to wake up kind of early to ride. so when you first get on your llama, you're carouseling maybe in a forest early in the morning when it's just starting to get bright but is mostly still dark, and it's super magical. and there are just so many trees, and it smells so fresh and it's just so quiet.
and then it goes to a desert as the sun is rising and it's all sand and no matter how far you look, you can't see anything manmade just all sky and sand dunes and colors.
and then a jungle rainforest kind of thing in the morning, and part of it is a pocket of jungle with a big waterfall with really clear sparkly water.
then during day it goes to prairie fields, with a super blue sky and a lot a lot of wind,
and then it reaches somewhere way up north and the sky is gray because it's snowing and you just go through a forest of trees that are all covered in snow, and everything gives off a white glow.
and during late afternoon it's a pond and all the reeds and all the ducks, and everything is warm orange,
then it's sunset and you're at the beach and the waves are so big and so loud and you even might get splashed a little, and then this guy comes out of the center of the merry go round and gives you an ice cream cone.
and the air smells salty and now the sun is going down.
and then it's night and you're just somewhere, but it's hard to say because it's pouring and raining and thundering so hard, but in the back you can barely make out the mountains and you have nothing to do and no worries and no obligations and it's just so peaceful and the rain is so thick and it's all you can hear.
then the sky clears up, and it's midnight and the ride ends. and you get off, and you're just so so tired cause it's been a long day.
the ending of the ride is the perfect backyard, i guess it's yours. maybe mine. with really soft lush grass, and this is the part where you just lay in the grass and look at the sky, because it has five million stars, and then fall asleep.
some parts of your ride, have music.
so far the songs are: steven kravis' "through the kaleidoscope", "dawn" by Jean-Yves Thibaudet , Beethovens seventh symphony, Settler by Balmorhea, and Chopin's opus 25 no15 Raindrops prelude. and this one acoustic guitar solo song that i have no idea what the name is or who it's by, but it's very pretty i assure you.
and this merry go round only goes in one circle.
and if you try to comprehend how in the world it works, you don't win.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
good night
we had to make sentences in class in korean, "-----, and that's why -----".
my teacher gave us pictures and we had to say why the picture was so. she didn't like, "because he's a boy, he plays video games" or "because she's a girl, she's eating chocolate".
today i went to the city, and i ate a waffle. it had cream and honey inside, and i think that is a really superb idea. i mean i could tell it was fake cream and fake honey, i don't even know if that is what it was supposed to be but it was really good. but it could be so much better. man,
imagine a good quality delicious fresh waffle, spread with dollops of homemade whipped cream, drizzled with honey....
and then you fold the waffle like half sandwich, because the waffle is a whole waffle you see. and then you eat it and the cream/honey filling is enough so that when you bite into it, cream slightly bulges out of the edges and it is oh, so heavenly.
upgrade that sucker.
tonight is movie night for me and myself and i.
but i is kind of backing out because i want to go to sleep, even though i told myself that we would watch a movie tonight. personally myself still really wants to watch a movie tonight, but since i is tired and and thinking, i could just get an extra two hours of sleep, it has turned into a predicament.
my teacher gave us pictures and we had to say why the picture was so. she didn't like, "because he's a boy, he plays video games" or "because she's a girl, she's eating chocolate".
today i went to the city, and i ate a waffle. it had cream and honey inside, and i think that is a really superb idea. i mean i could tell it was fake cream and fake honey, i don't even know if that is what it was supposed to be but it was really good. but it could be so much better. man,
imagine a good quality delicious fresh waffle, spread with dollops of homemade whipped cream, drizzled with honey....
and then you fold the waffle like half sandwich, because the waffle is a whole waffle you see. and then you eat it and the cream/honey filling is enough so that when you bite into it, cream slightly bulges out of the edges and it is oh, so heavenly.
upgrade that sucker.
tonight is movie night for me and myself and i.
but i is kind of backing out because i want to go to sleep, even though i told myself that we would watch a movie tonight. personally myself still really wants to watch a movie tonight, but since i is tired and and thinking, i could just get an extra two hours of sleep, it has turned into a predicament.
Monday, April 26, 2010
there's this word that i always feel, but i don't think the word exists. at least, not in english.
i asked my sister if they could send me some sheet music and some candy.
today i got the package, and it was like opening a package of love.
like the contents of the box really had such small monetary value, but to actually send the package was hecka expensive.
but that's what i love about it so much. that they don't say, why would we waste so much money to send something that you could live without, and costs like a fifth of the shipping price.
man, why is life so so beautiful? why aren't we robots or something?
how come we can feel and create and understand?
today was so nice. actually before that even happened, so many good things already happened.
thank you so much.
today i got the package, and it was like opening a package of love.
like the contents of the box really had such small monetary value, but to actually send the package was hecka expensive.
but that's what i love about it so much. that they don't say, why would we waste so much money to send something that you could live without, and costs like a fifth of the shipping price.
man, why is life so so beautiful? why aren't we robots or something?
how come we can feel and create and understand?
today was so nice. actually before that even happened, so many good things already happened.
thank you so much.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
don't worry be happy.
the other day, i was talking to someone about our life here in korea. they said that this was one of the best and easiest times of their life, but actually it was hard because now they have to leave that comfort and make it difficult so that they can continue to grow through suffering and struggles.
i don't know, but when i hear stuff like that it kinda turns me off.
i don't like the idea that life is about struggling, and whoever suffers the most wins, and whoever lives laughing and being happy can never grow and become a good person. of course i think you can gain a lot and a certain amount of struggle is needed to have a deeper understanding of things, etc, but i don't think it should be your goal in life.
and idk i think it's so nice to give joy to others, but how can one do that if you're not joyful yourself?
i was wondering if it was okay that this is how i feel, and then last night i read this:
"even if a person becomes an absolute being, or establishes an absolute purpose, it will be of no use unless this person is joyful. Our daily lives should be joyful." -smm
that makes me feel like god really loves us.
i think that we all have a different approach on life that makes us who we are, and helps us achieve and live the way that is most fulfilling. if we all saw life the same way, it would be so boring right? i don't think a certain way is wrong or right,
but at least i know i'm allowed to be happy haha
i don't know, but when i hear stuff like that it kinda turns me off.
i don't like the idea that life is about struggling, and whoever suffers the most wins, and whoever lives laughing and being happy can never grow and become a good person. of course i think you can gain a lot and a certain amount of struggle is needed to have a deeper understanding of things, etc, but i don't think it should be your goal in life.
and idk i think it's so nice to give joy to others, but how can one do that if you're not joyful yourself?
i was wondering if it was okay that this is how i feel, and then last night i read this:
"even if a person becomes an absolute being, or establishes an absolute purpose, it will be of no use unless this person is joyful. Our daily lives should be joyful." -smm
that makes me feel like god really loves us.
i think that we all have a different approach on life that makes us who we are, and helps us achieve and live the way that is most fulfilling. if we all saw life the same way, it would be so boring right? i don't think a certain way is wrong or right,
but at least i know i'm allowed to be happy haha
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
time for a walk
i don't like to study for exams.
cramming doesn't make sense to me. i'm craving ambrosia.
i would much rather just take the day to relax, and take a walk with my guitar, and listen to music. and eat choco rolls with chocolate cream.
which is exactly what i have done.
tomorrow we have more midterms, and everyone is hiding in their room and studying. it makes sense to study a lesson you just learned that day, but to try and study everything you've learned the semester in one day? i think it's a waste of time, and makes you nervous and stressed.
okay so i made a recipe in my head, i think it will taste really good. haha i used to do this a lot on stf when i was craving food, just make a recipe and then try it when i get the chance. well this one is really simple, not really a recipe but yeah.
two pieces of yummy bread (we're not talking wonderbread)
butter(softened, not melted)
powdered sugar
vanilla
chocolate chips
cocoa powder (unsweetened)
mix the softened butter, adding powdered sugar until desired consistency and taste. then add vanilla and mix, and then add cocoa powder. mix mix mix.
and then add chocolate chips! and mix.
and then spread on the yummy bread and make a yummy sandwich. OR!
you can cut off the crust, and spread on the yummy bread and roll it into a yummy roll! yes yes. that sounds good.
and there is also a variation where you add crunchy peanut butter also.
i can't wait.
cramming doesn't make sense to me. i'm craving ambrosia.
i would much rather just take the day to relax, and take a walk with my guitar, and listen to music. and eat choco rolls with chocolate cream.
which is exactly what i have done.
tomorrow we have more midterms, and everyone is hiding in their room and studying. it makes sense to study a lesson you just learned that day, but to try and study everything you've learned the semester in one day? i think it's a waste of time, and makes you nervous and stressed.
okay so i made a recipe in my head, i think it will taste really good. haha i used to do this a lot on stf when i was craving food, just make a recipe and then try it when i get the chance. well this one is really simple, not really a recipe but yeah.
two pieces of yummy bread (we're not talking wonderbread)
butter(softened, not melted)
powdered sugar
vanilla
chocolate chips
cocoa powder (unsweetened)
mix the softened butter, adding powdered sugar until desired consistency and taste. then add vanilla and mix, and then add cocoa powder. mix mix mix.
and then add chocolate chips! and mix.
and then spread on the yummy bread and make a yummy sandwich. OR!
you can cut off the crust, and spread on the yummy bread and roll it into a yummy roll! yes yes. that sounds good.
and there is also a variation where you add crunchy peanut butter also.
i can't wait.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
koreans have good food too.
more food that i wish i had:
ice cream sandwich (an american one)
buffalo wings
boba
pancakessssss
grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup
i really like the feeling of seeing a lot of crows during dusk. like REALLY. i don't know why, but when i see a lot of crows on the telephone poles or something when it's really late afternoon or something, i just think it's so pretty and it makes me feel so good.
also in the series of unfortunate events "the vile village", every evening the crows fly from the city to this tree, and when i see it in my head it's just so beautiful.
the music video for "anthem of our dying day" also has this a little bit.
there is this chocolate chocopieish-but-not thing that is sooo good. this dream pie is one of the best snacks i have ever had. i am currently addicted, and i go crazy if i don't go to the store and get my fix. and if i'm not craving it but i get within twenty feet of one, it's like a magnet.
no, seriously.
i almost broke my neck last time, because the pull from my stomach to the dream pie was so sudden.
ice cream sandwich (an american one)
buffalo wings
boba
pancakessssss
grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup
i really like the feeling of seeing a lot of crows during dusk. like REALLY. i don't know why, but when i see a lot of crows on the telephone poles or something when it's really late afternoon or something, i just think it's so pretty and it makes me feel so good.
also in the series of unfortunate events "the vile village", every evening the crows fly from the city to this tree, and when i see it in my head it's just so beautiful.
the music video for "anthem of our dying day" also has this a little bit.
there is this chocolate chocopieish-but-not thing that is sooo good. this dream pie is one of the best snacks i have ever had. i am currently addicted, and i go crazy if i don't go to the store and get my fix. and if i'm not craving it but i get within twenty feet of one, it's like a magnet.
no, seriously.
i almost broke my neck last time, because the pull from my stomach to the dream pie was so sudden.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
my brains for the past ten minutes in words
why do i feel like i have no time, when actually i have a very excessive amount of time? i mean i only go to school for four hours a day. that leaves twenty hours left.
okay, so five of those are taken up by working, so lets say technically there are nine hours a day where i'm not free to do whatever i wish.
still that is fifteen hours left.
so let's say i sleep a good eight hours a night, that leaves seven hours? if i'm not mistaken. so seven hours of whatever i want.
but why do i always come to the end of the day, and feel like i ran out of time? don't ask me what for. i have no idea. i mean it's not like i'm trying to accomplish a mission and i just. need.. more.. time...
hmm. wait a minute.
one and a half of those seven hours is getting ready for school, eating breakfast, and then walking to school.
so that is five and a half hours.
one of those is eating dinner, so four and a half hours of free time?
what should i do? i like to read my national geographics. but i think most of that time is spent on the computer these days. well i finished the korean drama i was watching so actually maybe i can not be in front of the screen so much.
the drama was okay. i give it two thumbs sideways.
i am currently online shopping for a guitar. did you know in korea, you can buy a new acoustic guitar for fifty bucks, pay a little more than two dollars shipping and handling, and receive it in like two or three days? efficiency i say.
today, i ate so many chocopies. and chips. really a lot. i couldn't have stopped if you duct taped my mouth.
you know how when you're watching something like a movie or performance, you eat a lot more than you might if you weren't?
oh this interesting thing happened today. some friends and i were taking a bus back to campus, and in the middle of the city it stopped and just started going backwards. i guess something was wrong with the bus, so the bus driver just got out of the bus, took a smoke, and called another bus to come take us. we were on this other bus for about two minutes, when it broke down also. that's never happened to us before, and then twice in a row? actually i recall someone making a joke that i needed to leave the bus because i was making the bus break from having eaten too much at the performance. and some other people chimed in saying that they saw me eating a lot too. man that was awkward.
i mean come on guys. the lights were off and there was a show going on. nothing better to watch?
anyway we ended up taking yet another bus back, but it was just really funny.
i basically just wrote all about my day or something.
aw man, speaking of which i'm supposed to write a korean diary for homework. maybe i should just copy and paste this into a korean translator. i have a feeling that story would not have a good ending.
do you think when you talk to yourself, you're really talking to yourself or some kind of subconscious fictional character that's not you?
okay, so five of those are taken up by working, so lets say technically there are nine hours a day where i'm not free to do whatever i wish.
still that is fifteen hours left.
so let's say i sleep a good eight hours a night, that leaves seven hours? if i'm not mistaken. so seven hours of whatever i want.
but why do i always come to the end of the day, and feel like i ran out of time? don't ask me what for. i have no idea. i mean it's not like i'm trying to accomplish a mission and i just. need.. more.. time...
hmm. wait a minute.
one and a half of those seven hours is getting ready for school, eating breakfast, and then walking to school.
so that is five and a half hours.
one of those is eating dinner, so four and a half hours of free time?
what should i do? i like to read my national geographics. but i think most of that time is spent on the computer these days. well i finished the korean drama i was watching so actually maybe i can not be in front of the screen so much.
the drama was okay. i give it two thumbs sideways.
i am currently online shopping for a guitar. did you know in korea, you can buy a new acoustic guitar for fifty bucks, pay a little more than two dollars shipping and handling, and receive it in like two or three days? efficiency i say.
today, i ate so many chocopies. and chips. really a lot. i couldn't have stopped if you duct taped my mouth.
you know how when you're watching something like a movie or performance, you eat a lot more than you might if you weren't?
oh this interesting thing happened today. some friends and i were taking a bus back to campus, and in the middle of the city it stopped and just started going backwards. i guess something was wrong with the bus, so the bus driver just got out of the bus, took a smoke, and called another bus to come take us. we were on this other bus for about two minutes, when it broke down also. that's never happened to us before, and then twice in a row? actually i recall someone making a joke that i needed to leave the bus because i was making the bus break from having eaten too much at the performance. and some other people chimed in saying that they saw me eating a lot too. man that was awkward.
i mean come on guys. the lights were off and there was a show going on. nothing better to watch?
anyway we ended up taking yet another bus back, but it was just really funny.
i basically just wrote all about my day or something.
aw man, speaking of which i'm supposed to write a korean diary for homework. maybe i should just copy and paste this into a korean translator. i have a feeling that story would not have a good ending.
do you think when you talk to yourself, you're really talking to yourself or some kind of subconscious fictional character that's not you?
Friday, April 9, 2010
i went to an amusement park today
even though they are much cheaper and not as impressively set up, i much prefer carnivals to amusement parks.
i think carnivals are more fun, are prettier, and nicer because you go at nighttime. not to mention they have better food. and don't feel like they're run by a robot.
even though the rides are not as exhilarating.
there's not much more exhilarating than buying a funnel cake from a freaky carnie with only two teeth, so it kind of makes up for it i guess.
would you guys hate me if i just wrote about all the foods that i want to eat? many times when i'm writing, i forget that people are going to be reading it.
gosh since i came here i really became obsessed with food. i don't know what it is. i mean okay i know before i came here i liked snacks and eating too, but REALLY whenever i talk to people i just want to talk about food, and write about food, and think about food. and whenever my teacher asks me a question in class in korean, like "what present would you like to recieve" or "what do you want to do after school" etc, it always involves eating, especially sweets.
oh my gosh.
a really rich chocolate cake with chocolate icing, but like REAL butter cream icing. oat meal creme pie, soft warm chewy homemade chocolate chip cookies. gummy bears and peach rings and haagen daz icecream, and chicken pot pie! and buffalo wings and a medium rare steak with garlic mashed potatoes. PANCAKES. blueberry pancakes and chocolate chip pancakes and harvest grain and nut pancake combo eggs over easy.
i think carnivals are more fun, are prettier, and nicer because you go at nighttime. not to mention they have better food. and don't feel like they're run by a robot.
even though the rides are not as exhilarating.
there's not much more exhilarating than buying a funnel cake from a freaky carnie with only two teeth, so it kind of makes up for it i guess.
would you guys hate me if i just wrote about all the foods that i want to eat? many times when i'm writing, i forget that people are going to be reading it.
gosh since i came here i really became obsessed with food. i don't know what it is. i mean okay i know before i came here i liked snacks and eating too, but REALLY whenever i talk to people i just want to talk about food, and write about food, and think about food. and whenever my teacher asks me a question in class in korean, like "what present would you like to recieve" or "what do you want to do after school" etc, it always involves eating, especially sweets.
oh my gosh.
a really rich chocolate cake with chocolate icing, but like REAL butter cream icing. oat meal creme pie, soft warm chewy homemade chocolate chip cookies. gummy bears and peach rings and haagen daz icecream, and chicken pot pie! and buffalo wings and a medium rare steak with garlic mashed potatoes. PANCAKES. blueberry pancakes and chocolate chip pancakes and harvest grain and nut pancake combo eggs over easy.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
the love outside my window
"hello?"
"we are here."
"does anyone else know?"
"...no."
"you are beautiful."
"when i look at you, the world seems so clear!"
"you can look all you want."
"can i come see you every day?"
"please!"
"i will! i will wake up early. "
"we will wait here."
"what if i don't come?"
"we will still wait here."
"i like to count you! is that funny?"
"we like it when you count us!"
"you make everything better"
"oh, stop it."
"no, it's true. i...think i love you."
"....hi. i missed you."
"we are here."
"i haven't been coming to see you."
"it's okay. we can see you even if you don't look at us."
"i don't wake up early anymore."
"don't worry. come when you can. you are busy,
and we are just trees."
"we are here."
"does anyone else know?"
"...no."
"you are beautiful."
"when i look at you, the world seems so clear!"
"you can look all you want."
"can i come see you every day?"
"please!"
"i will! i will wake up early. "
"we will wait here."
"what if i don't come?"
"we will still wait here."
"i like to count you! is that funny?"
"we like it when you count us!"
"you make everything better"
"oh, stop it."
"no, it's true. i...think i love you."
"....hi. i missed you."
"we are here."
"i haven't been coming to see you."
"it's okay. we can see you even if you don't look at us."
"i don't wake up early anymore."
"don't worry. come when you can. you are busy,
and we are just trees."
Sunday, April 4, 2010
a bunny-less peepless chocolateless easter.
man, i didn't even know today was easter until way too late. i didn't even realize easter was coming.
that's the third holiday i've missed here. this is so lame. where is the chocolate? where the heck are the peeps??
i'm so hungry.
i miss texas. rawr.
oh oh oh guesswhat??
i bought rinse today :) and it really is rinse. cause the bottle says so and two people verified it. i'm so happy :)
so today for dinner, i was making some ramen. and some people saw me and asked if i wanted to eat dinner with them and i told them sorry but i had plans.
because i had planned to eat my ramen and watch a movie with myself and with my headphones in my room.
because i actually really enjoy eating while watching a movie really very much, and i was excited to do that. and i thought, man, now i'm turning people down to hang out with myself.
oh well.
but really? i can't believe i'm going to have to wait another year until i can eat my favorite marshmallow sugar coated chicks. and what if i'm in korea still and i don't get them?? fml.
i'm homesick.
i want a hot dog with the works.
i want pancakes.
i want to have a conversation with someone whose native language is english.
i want to play my guitarawrawrawr
oh, and korean dramas are lame and predictable and completely unrealistic.
and too dramatic.
i mean i know it's a drama, but seriously? the chick mops the floor and gets a nosebleed from "overwork". and then of course the dude has to pick her up and bring her to rest because she's totally incapable of walking herself. good grief.
okay i'll stop being a hater now.
i just really miss home
today. maybe tomorrow i'll be better.
that's the third holiday i've missed here. this is so lame. where is the chocolate? where the heck are the peeps??
i'm so hungry.
i miss texas. rawr.
oh oh oh guesswhat??
i bought rinse today :) and it really is rinse. cause the bottle says so and two people verified it. i'm so happy :)
so today for dinner, i was making some ramen. and some people saw me and asked if i wanted to eat dinner with them and i told them sorry but i had plans.
because i had planned to eat my ramen and watch a movie with myself and with my headphones in my room.
because i actually really enjoy eating while watching a movie really very much, and i was excited to do that. and i thought, man, now i'm turning people down to hang out with myself.
oh well.
but really? i can't believe i'm going to have to wait another year until i can eat my favorite marshmallow sugar coated chicks. and what if i'm in korea still and i don't get them?? fml.
i'm homesick.
i want a hot dog with the works.
i want pancakes.
i want to have a conversation with someone whose native language is english.
i want to play my guitarawrawrawr
oh, and korean dramas are lame and predictable and completely unrealistic.
and too dramatic.
i mean i know it's a drama, but seriously? the chick mops the floor and gets a nosebleed from "overwork". and then of course the dude has to pick her up and bring her to rest because she's totally incapable of walking herself. good grief.
okay i'll stop being a hater now.
i just really miss home
today. maybe tomorrow i'll be better.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
thankyou
val·u·a·ble
/ˈvælyuəbəl, -yəbəl/
–adjective
1.
having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price: a valuable painting; a valuable crop.
2.
having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem: a valuable friend.
3.
of considerable use, service, or importance: valuable information.
for some reason when i read this, i feel like this isn't what i mean when i say something is valuable.
but if i were going to try to describe it, i don't think i could do it any better than this dictionary definition.
sometimes i think there are so many things that are really valuable to me, whether it's material belongings or a friendship or a home or an email or a memory or a dollar. but i think, even if i lost everything i owned in a fire i wouldn't really be that upset. i mean it might be somewhat upsetting, but idk.
sometimes i want to let all the people in my life know how much they mean to me, but then i can't do it. i honestly don't think i understand what they mean to me. but a good chunk of people think that they mean as much to you as you express, which is rather unfortunate on my part.
right now i have 1050 won in my wallet, roughly a dollar. i've literally had to watch every single penny every day, and i planned and spent in a way so that this thursday night i would have this much, and i know exactly how i'm going to use it tomorrow. if someone gave me one dollar right now, that dollar would be so valuable, right?
there's a girl who goes to my school who basically just lost her whole family in a car accident.
how would it compare:
if i lost everything i physically owned, but still had my life and the lives of the people i love?
if i lost all of my memory but still had everything else and had these random people i didn't know that loved me?
if i lost all the people currently in my life but still had life and aspiration and a heart and god?
if i lost my physical life but was survived by people whom i love that are living a beautiful life?
"valuable" to me is something that means a lot.
sometimes i think everything is valuable. does that make sense?
/ˈvælyuəbəl, -yəbəl/
–adjective
1.
having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price: a valuable painting; a valuable crop.
2.
having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem: a valuable friend.
3.
of considerable use, service, or importance: valuable information.
for some reason when i read this, i feel like this isn't what i mean when i say something is valuable.
but if i were going to try to describe it, i don't think i could do it any better than this dictionary definition.
sometimes i think there are so many things that are really valuable to me, whether it's material belongings or a friendship or a home or an email or a memory or a dollar. but i think, even if i lost everything i owned in a fire i wouldn't really be that upset. i mean it might be somewhat upsetting, but idk.
sometimes i want to let all the people in my life know how much they mean to me, but then i can't do it. i honestly don't think i understand what they mean to me. but a good chunk of people think that they mean as much to you as you express, which is rather unfortunate on my part.
right now i have 1050 won in my wallet, roughly a dollar. i've literally had to watch every single penny every day, and i planned and spent in a way so that this thursday night i would have this much, and i know exactly how i'm going to use it tomorrow. if someone gave me one dollar right now, that dollar would be so valuable, right?
there's a girl who goes to my school who basically just lost her whole family in a car accident.
how would it compare:
if i lost everything i physically owned, but still had my life and the lives of the people i love?
if i lost all of my memory but still had everything else and had these random people i didn't know that loved me?
if i lost all the people currently in my life but still had life and aspiration and a heart and god?
if i lost my physical life but was survived by people whom i love that are living a beautiful life?
"valuable" to me is something that means a lot.
sometimes i think everything is valuable. does that make sense?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
i don't wanna talk about it.
once upon a time, i came to korea and i went shopping for my first time and i needed to buy shampoo and conditioner (here we call it rinse). and i spied a big value pack of this shampoo-rinse combination so i bought it.
only to come back to my dorm and find that it was three HUGE bottles of shampoo only.
so i was like, argh whatever.
so i work in a little store, and we sell all those kinds of hygiene products. i was looking the stuff and i recall thinking to myself, "how come we only sell rinse and not shampoo?" and i bought a bottle, because i needed it.
only to come back to my dorm and find that it was a bottle of shampoo.
(just for the record, when i went back to check, we only sell shampoo-- no rinse)
so i was like how did i do that again? whatever.
my friend pitied me, and gave me her left over rinse that was the brand she doesn't like. it had a few uses left in it, but recently has emptied. now i am not a rich student, that is for sure. yesterday i went out because i needed to buy some things, and i realized actually that i only had money for either rinse, or some lunch for this week.
and idk, food is usually not difficult to come by some how, but i thought if i didn't buy some rinse now i might never be able to. (a little dramatic, i admit)
so i used the last of my money to finally buy a medium sized bottle of rinse.
as i left i felt so accomplished, you know? it was a really glorious feeling, really. maybe i would be a little hungry this week, but i finally have my rinse.
last night i was very excited to use my new very own rinse.
so i did
all i remember thinking is..
"why is does my conditioner create suds...??"
yeah.
it was shampoo.
only to come back to my dorm and find that it was three HUGE bottles of shampoo only.
so i was like, argh whatever.
so i work in a little store, and we sell all those kinds of hygiene products. i was looking the stuff and i recall thinking to myself, "how come we only sell rinse and not shampoo?" and i bought a bottle, because i needed it.
only to come back to my dorm and find that it was a bottle of shampoo.
(just for the record, when i went back to check, we only sell shampoo-- no rinse)
so i was like how did i do that again? whatever.
my friend pitied me, and gave me her left over rinse that was the brand she doesn't like. it had a few uses left in it, but recently has emptied. now i am not a rich student, that is for sure. yesterday i went out because i needed to buy some things, and i realized actually that i only had money for either rinse, or some lunch for this week.
and idk, food is usually not difficult to come by some how, but i thought if i didn't buy some rinse now i might never be able to. (a little dramatic, i admit)
so i used the last of my money to finally buy a medium sized bottle of rinse.
as i left i felt so accomplished, you know? it was a really glorious feeling, really. maybe i would be a little hungry this week, but i finally have my rinse.
last night i was very excited to use my new very own rinse.
so i did
all i remember thinking is..
"why is does my conditioner create suds...??"
yeah.
it was shampoo.
Friday, March 26, 2010
"aren't you afraid that if you keep eating, you'll get fatter?"
fridayyyyyyy! :D
what a glorious day. maybe by the time you beautiful people read this, it will be friday evening for you too. no school, no homework. it's movie night for the girls, i chose fight club:) birthday party tomorrow, and today- we had a meeting for all the class presidents, they took us out to a buffet. and korean buffets are like heaven, because alll the food is so good, and they always have sushi and delicious beautiful desserts.
so nice.
oh yeah, so somehow i'm class president. why does this always happen to me? i'm late to class and slow at korean. what do you want from me?? haha
you know what's interesting, is that korean desserts always look better than they taste. ALWAYS. i mean they taste good, they do. but they just look soo nice that you expect them to taste like clouds and hearts and marshmallows. and then they just taste like cake, and you're like wtf man
i like to write here i think, because i miss talking in english. i mean i speak english in my school, but i can't just say whatever i want because i have to think about what vocabulary everyone will understand and stuff. anyway i need to go take a break.
oh yeah, and the quote above is something that this chinese dude asked me today at the buffet haha
what a glorious day. maybe by the time you beautiful people read this, it will be friday evening for you too. no school, no homework. it's movie night for the girls, i chose fight club:) birthday party tomorrow, and today- we had a meeting for all the class presidents, they took us out to a buffet. and korean buffets are like heaven, because alll the food is so good, and they always have sushi and delicious beautiful desserts.
so nice.
oh yeah, so somehow i'm class president. why does this always happen to me? i'm late to class and slow at korean. what do you want from me?? haha
you know what's interesting, is that korean desserts always look better than they taste. ALWAYS. i mean they taste good, they do. but they just look soo nice that you expect them to taste like clouds and hearts and marshmallows. and then they just taste like cake, and you're like wtf man
i like to write here i think, because i miss talking in english. i mean i speak english in my school, but i can't just say whatever i want because i have to think about what vocabulary everyone will understand and stuff. anyway i need to go take a break.
oh yeah, and the quote above is something that this chinese dude asked me today at the buffet haha
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
toothpaste
before i came here, i decided that i would buy a new tube of toothpaste.
i was in whole foods, so they have all this organic toothpaste.
i saw that the brand i wanted had two flavors, "peppermint" and "anise". i was going to just grab peppermint, but at the last moment i decided to try something new, and go with mister "anise".
So i arrived in korea and enthusiastically tried out my new toothpaste which was very interesting because it tasted like licorice. kinda weird but whatever, it's not really an issue.
except for i could never quite get that fresh minty feeling you love after brushing your teeth.
The first few days here i had a massive amount of free time, which was actually really nice. by massive amount, i mean like over seventy two hours straight of anything i wished. so one of these days i had just finished eating my snack of licorice allsorts that i had brought from america, and feeling a little bored around midday. and I thought, perhaps i could go outside and take a little walk. or maybe i could take a nap.
but, ehh if i take a nap, i'll want to brush my teeth first. and I don't really want to brush my teeth, because i just ate licorice, you know?
but wait one second!
my toothpaste is licorice flavored!
so it won't clash with my current taste!
okay, so i will brush my teeth and take a nap.
and that is exactly what i did.
and it was one of the most glorious, and the most interesting nap i think i've had.
and also during that nap i met someone interesting that i wouldn't have if i hadn't been in my room.
isn't it interesting how so many things are caused by something so small?
i like licorice.
i was in whole foods, so they have all this organic toothpaste.
i saw that the brand i wanted had two flavors, "peppermint" and "anise". i was going to just grab peppermint, but at the last moment i decided to try something new, and go with mister "anise".
So i arrived in korea and enthusiastically tried out my new toothpaste which was very interesting because it tasted like licorice. kinda weird but whatever, it's not really an issue.
except for i could never quite get that fresh minty feeling you love after brushing your teeth.
The first few days here i had a massive amount of free time, which was actually really nice. by massive amount, i mean like over seventy two hours straight of anything i wished. so one of these days i had just finished eating my snack of licorice allsorts that i had brought from america, and feeling a little bored around midday. and I thought, perhaps i could go outside and take a little walk. or maybe i could take a nap.
but, ehh if i take a nap, i'll want to brush my teeth first. and I don't really want to brush my teeth, because i just ate licorice, you know?
but wait one second!
my toothpaste is licorice flavored!
so it won't clash with my current taste!
okay, so i will brush my teeth and take a nap.
and that is exactly what i did.
and it was one of the most glorious, and the most interesting nap i think i've had.
and also during that nap i met someone interesting that i wouldn't have if i hadn't been in my room.
isn't it interesting how so many things are caused by something so small?
i like licorice.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
what i love
good afternoon!
yesterday, i bought a laptop. so now i have my own computer, and i feel comfortable using it as much as i want, for whatever i want.
i really love it here.
i love waking up early, and opening my window. the sky is so gray, like silver. and the wind is so windy, and the trees are so happy. i mean, i think they could be happier, but they're really really nice and they make me so happy, and i think that makes them happy.
every day, i exercise my eyes. and guess what? i think my eye sight has made a very quick improvement. i will tell you later about it.
i work in a little store here on campus, it's such a nice job even though i make less than seventy cents an hour. but really, i make as much as i need, so it's very good for me. plus also i can choose two breads for lunch sometimes, and these breads are so very yummy. and i can study when no one is coming in, and it's just so nice.
i have to study now though, because tomorrow is school, and i don't want to be behind.
:)
yesterday, i bought a laptop. so now i have my own computer, and i feel comfortable using it as much as i want, for whatever i want.
i really love it here.
i love waking up early, and opening my window. the sky is so gray, like silver. and the wind is so windy, and the trees are so happy. i mean, i think they could be happier, but they're really really nice and they make me so happy, and i think that makes them happy.
every day, i exercise my eyes. and guess what? i think my eye sight has made a very quick improvement. i will tell you later about it.
i work in a little store here on campus, it's such a nice job even though i make less than seventy cents an hour. but really, i make as much as i need, so it's very good for me. plus also i can choose two breads for lunch sometimes, and these breads are so very yummy. and i can study when no one is coming in, and it's just so nice.
i have to study now though, because tomorrow is school, and i don't want to be behind.
:)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
byebye
america, you have been good to me.
seeya round
cross your fingers that i don't get lost on my way over
seeya round
cross your fingers that i don't get lost on my way over
Monday, February 15, 2010
i peeked into my head
i can't wait!
don't make me go.
time is moving kind of quickly, don't you think?
feels kind of slow to me.
it almost doesn't phase me
it makes me pretty anxious
que sera, sera.
i miss you
i don't care
no, i really don't.
that's because you're avoiding the thought
no i'm not.
i remember it like it was yesterday.
it feels like it never even happened
are you sure you didn't forget something?
your toothbrush?
no, i keep one in my purse.
i love them
then why do you forget?
i said i love them
you can't afford that.
i got this.
i'm going to get a tea instead of a latte because it's a dollar cheaper.
i'm going to get a quesadilla instead of a salad because it's only a dollar more expensive.
you're awesome
you're nuts
i know exactly what i want to do in the future, and how to get there
dunno, seems to me like you don't plan anything at all
que sera, sera.
don't make me go.
time is moving kind of quickly, don't you think?
feels kind of slow to me.
it almost doesn't phase me
it makes me pretty anxious
que sera, sera.
i miss you
i don't care
no, i really don't.
that's because you're avoiding the thought
no i'm not.
i remember it like it was yesterday.
it feels like it never even happened
are you sure you didn't forget something?
your toothbrush?
no, i keep one in my purse.
i love them
then why do you forget?
i said i love them
you can't afford that.
i got this.
i'm going to get a tea instead of a latte because it's a dollar cheaper.
i'm going to get a quesadilla instead of a salad because it's only a dollar more expensive.
you're awesome
you're nuts
i know exactly what i want to do in the future, and how to get there
dunno, seems to me like you don't plan anything at all
que sera, sera.
Friday, February 5, 2010
angst is not allowed before bedtime.
i wonder if it's sad that i get so happy when i put on a pair of my favorite socks.
i wonder if it's happy that i get so sad when i have to say goodbye on my last day of work.
i wonder if an ice cube and a light bulb could ever be friends.
i often feel lucky that i am allowed to think for myself and not feel bad about it. i am allowed to be fascinated by robots, and read about jehovahs witness. i can try to understand jim jones, and i can be friends with whomever i want, and travel out of my country to most anyplace i'd like, and pursue pretty much any interest or hobby. there are lots of people in the world who can't do a lot of those things because of family, or political, or religious beliefs.
i think life is so big for such a tiny person. i am only five foot four, you know.
sometimes i am afraid i might burst.
i wonder if it's happy that i get so sad when i have to say goodbye on my last day of work.
i wonder if an ice cube and a light bulb could ever be friends.
i often feel lucky that i am allowed to think for myself and not feel bad about it. i am allowed to be fascinated by robots, and read about jehovahs witness. i can try to understand jim jones, and i can be friends with whomever i want, and travel out of my country to most anyplace i'd like, and pursue pretty much any interest or hobby. there are lots of people in the world who can't do a lot of those things because of family, or political, or religious beliefs.
i think life is so big for such a tiny person. i am only five foot four, you know.
sometimes i am afraid i might burst.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
coincidences
isn't it weird, how there are so many coincidences but so many people insist that it's really all in your head, but it can't always be in my head?
i think.
like i just wrote about bill gates, and then for a comment i had to type "gates" for the verification thing
haha.
and that's just something little, but that happens all the time. but you know, maybe it's just because i always make connections between things all the time. i don't mean to, it just happens. so maybe it really wasn't a coincidence after all.
or maybe it was.
i think.
like i just wrote about bill gates, and then for a comment i had to type "gates" for the verification thing
haha.
and that's just something little, but that happens all the time. but you know, maybe it's just because i always make connections between things all the time. i don't mean to, it just happens. so maybe it really wasn't a coincidence after all.
or maybe it was.
if five years later i won the lottery, you wouldn't be able to tell. i think i'd just have an average house, with maybe above average home appliances. and i'd shop at organic stores for food and stuff.
and i'd use the rest of the money on things that actually mean something.
and i would travel. and give people really awesome birthday gifts.
my dad was saying the other day that at one point bill gates had 64 billion dollars ( he probably has more now), and said something like to grasp that concept just think, that's enough to give everyone in the world nine dollars.
which made me realize that that would be such a bad idea. because even though it's giving to everyone, it's really not enough to change anything. and so if you're going to invest into something, it's better to invest concentrated effort into a few important things that will actually make an impact. and maybe even that impact will ripple.
and i'd use the rest of the money on things that actually mean something.
and i would travel. and give people really awesome birthday gifts.
my dad was saying the other day that at one point bill gates had 64 billion dollars ( he probably has more now), and said something like to grasp that concept just think, that's enough to give everyone in the world nine dollars.
which made me realize that that would be such a bad idea. because even though it's giving to everyone, it's really not enough to change anything. and so if you're going to invest into something, it's better to invest concentrated effort into a few important things that will actually make an impact. and maybe even that impact will ripple.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
i wonder if farmville is like nicotine.
it all started when i finally gave into the peer pressure. i told everyone no several times, i watched people use it and i thought it looked ridiculous and like a complete waste of time.
then, i finally accepted against my better judgment. and now i'm sorry to say i'm addicted.
i don't even like farmville that much anymore, i really don't. at first it was kind of exciting and fun, but it wore off as of yesterday. now i feel like i just have to harvest my crops because if i don't, they'll die. and if i'm going to harvest them i might as well replant them. it's just an addiction that doesn't even have a purpose or bring me that much joy. i mean it's still semi entertaining, but eh. i'd probably be better off if i never started in the first place. it gives me an excuse to use the computer, and i don't like being on the computer.
i mean i do but i don't. it's the same feeling towards staying up late.
and i guess those two usually go hand in hand anyway.
aw, man. i let my green tea get cold.
so almonds are really healthy, but they're kind of boring by themselves. so i came up with this clever idea to make a mix out of them with pretzels and chocolate and raisins, and then realized that it's called trail mix.
planters peanuts- 1 estelle- 0
if i go to sleep in twenty three minutes, i'll get seven hours of sleep. that is the bare minimum my body needs to stay healthy these days, but still if i do it several days in a row i get sick.
and that is why i ate an orange tonight, because that orange had lots of vitamin C just for me. isn't that so sweet? the orange i ate, gave all his nutrients that he'd been making his whole life, to me.
on the flip side, i learned that one egg has about sixty percent of your daily allotment of cholesterol. and i can eat three eggs a day, easily. sometimes i have five.
a couple for breakfast, and two for lunch. because at ihop i always get a breakfast meal for lunch with two eggs over easy. and many times for a snack i eat rice with scrambled egg. so that's like a hundred eighty to three hundred percent cholesterol, ONLY counting eggs, haha.
but they are a great source of protein.
anyway i hage fourteen minutes to brush my teeth and climb in bed and fall asleep.
don't forget, you're a star.
then, i finally accepted against my better judgment. and now i'm sorry to say i'm addicted.
i don't even like farmville that much anymore, i really don't. at first it was kind of exciting and fun, but it wore off as of yesterday. now i feel like i just have to harvest my crops because if i don't, they'll die. and if i'm going to harvest them i might as well replant them. it's just an addiction that doesn't even have a purpose or bring me that much joy. i mean it's still semi entertaining, but eh. i'd probably be better off if i never started in the first place. it gives me an excuse to use the computer, and i don't like being on the computer.
i mean i do but i don't. it's the same feeling towards staying up late.
and i guess those two usually go hand in hand anyway.
aw, man. i let my green tea get cold.
so almonds are really healthy, but they're kind of boring by themselves. so i came up with this clever idea to make a mix out of them with pretzels and chocolate and raisins, and then realized that it's called trail mix.
planters peanuts- 1 estelle- 0
if i go to sleep in twenty three minutes, i'll get seven hours of sleep. that is the bare minimum my body needs to stay healthy these days, but still if i do it several days in a row i get sick.
and that is why i ate an orange tonight, because that orange had lots of vitamin C just for me. isn't that so sweet? the orange i ate, gave all his nutrients that he'd been making his whole life, to me.
on the flip side, i learned that one egg has about sixty percent of your daily allotment of cholesterol. and i can eat three eggs a day, easily. sometimes i have five.
a couple for breakfast, and two for lunch. because at ihop i always get a breakfast meal for lunch with two eggs over easy. and many times for a snack i eat rice with scrambled egg. so that's like a hundred eighty to three hundred percent cholesterol, ONLY counting eggs, haha.
but they are a great source of protein.
anyway i hage fourteen minutes to brush my teeth and climb in bed and fall asleep.
don't forget, you're a star.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
hello hello
listening to songs that i've known for a very long time makes me happy.
i feel very torn about those big sound blocking headphones. part of me loves them, the secure feeling from the slight pressure of them over my ears and of course the great sound. the other part of me can't enjoy them because i can't really ever feel relaxed wearing them because i feel like i'm too much in my own world, and if someone was calling my name or an emergency happened i wouldn't be able to be there.
i try not to ever leave my phone plugged into my charger for more than three hours, because i am really conscious about over charging it and wearing down the battery.
today i went to get my visa. and i've made just over enough money for everything i need. and my mom and i went to a pastry cafe, and had these really delicious mini cakes.
everything is perfect.
if i ever have to work in an office, i hope it's on a fifth floor or higher, and one of the walls is just a huge window.
listening to "Penny Lane" by the beatles makes me want to learn trumpet.
i'm pretty glad that i'm not going to be there for free pancake day at ihop. when it's so crazy and packed, as if that night hannah montana was scheduled to play live in our dining room, and all our customers are basically the same fan base.
although i've definitely attended pancake day before.
i feel very torn about those big sound blocking headphones. part of me loves them, the secure feeling from the slight pressure of them over my ears and of course the great sound. the other part of me can't enjoy them because i can't really ever feel relaxed wearing them because i feel like i'm too much in my own world, and if someone was calling my name or an emergency happened i wouldn't be able to be there.
i try not to ever leave my phone plugged into my charger for more than three hours, because i am really conscious about over charging it and wearing down the battery.
today i went to get my visa. and i've made just over enough money for everything i need. and my mom and i went to a pastry cafe, and had these really delicious mini cakes.
everything is perfect.
if i ever have to work in an office, i hope it's on a fifth floor or higher, and one of the walls is just a huge window.
listening to "Penny Lane" by the beatles makes me want to learn trumpet.
i'm pretty glad that i'm not going to be there for free pancake day at ihop. when it's so crazy and packed, as if that night hannah montana was scheduled to play live in our dining room, and all our customers are basically the same fan base.
although i've definitely attended pancake day before.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
madonna was wrong.
time goes by soo quickly. i feel like there was never a time in my life when time went by slowly. i mean looking long term, not like waiting for the lunch bell or something.
but right now, it's crazy because weeks go by, just like that. i work these days at these places, i get paid tomorrow. then i get paid next week, i have to do another crazy weekend at my restaurants, and all the days in between just kind of happen. you could loosely say i live paycheck to paycheck, so two weeks can go by fairly quickly. and then it's a month, and holy cow i'm quitting my jobs this month, and leaving next month.
i tend to measure time in work, because that's all i do haha.
i feel so lucky that i actually have things i want to do, and goals that i'm working towards. some people just keep doing what i'm doing, except for years and years and now they're forty and still trying to find a different job, or something else to do but they just don't know what.
isn't it so amazing and beautiful to have a purpose to your life? something so small but i feel like i've taken that for granted.
thankyou
but right now, it's crazy because weeks go by, just like that. i work these days at these places, i get paid tomorrow. then i get paid next week, i have to do another crazy weekend at my restaurants, and all the days in between just kind of happen. you could loosely say i live paycheck to paycheck, so two weeks can go by fairly quickly. and then it's a month, and holy cow i'm quitting my jobs this month, and leaving next month.
i tend to measure time in work, because that's all i do haha.
i feel so lucky that i actually have things i want to do, and goals that i'm working towards. some people just keep doing what i'm doing, except for years and years and now they're forty and still trying to find a different job, or something else to do but they just don't know what.
isn't it so amazing and beautiful to have a purpose to your life? something so small but i feel like i've taken that for granted.
thankyou
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
goldfish and little indians
once upon a time in middle school, we had just finished taking some standardized test. I had finished and we weren't allowed to do anything, so i recall making up a song about the ingredients in the Goldfish crackers they supplied us with.
it's to the tune of that "one little two little three little indians" song, and goes something like this:
made of enriched unbleached wheat flour,
cheddar cheese, vegetable oil (canola and sunflower),
salt, sugar, spices, [something i can't remember] and onion powder,
that's what's in gold fish!
i was thinking about that song today for some reason. and then i was thinking.. the original song is kind of a derogatory song to be singing in a public elementary school. i mean i love it and think it's super cute, grade school is where i learned the indian song. but if you replace the "indian" part with any other race of people it just sounds terrible.
one little two little three little black people/ white people/ chinese people
even if you substitute it with like african americans or caucasions...
i don't know man.
it's to the tune of that "one little two little three little indians" song, and goes something like this:
made of enriched unbleached wheat flour,
cheddar cheese, vegetable oil (canola and sunflower),
salt, sugar, spices, [something i can't remember] and onion powder,
that's what's in gold fish!
i was thinking about that song today for some reason. and then i was thinking.. the original song is kind of a derogatory song to be singing in a public elementary school. i mean i love it and think it's super cute, grade school is where i learned the indian song. but if you replace the "indian" part with any other race of people it just sounds terrible.
one little two little three little black people/ white people/ chinese people
even if you substitute it with like african americans or caucasions...
i don't know man.
Friday, January 15, 2010
songs that aren't mine.
sometimes when i hear a really good song, i think to myself:
i wish i wrote that song before they did.
if only they didn't write that song, maybe i would have thought of it sooner or later. (haha it's possible okay)
and then i think:
dang it! and now i can't write that song because they already did. the lyrics are already taken, the melody is already taken, i lose.
if i think about it logically, it doesn't really make sense. i mean i'm still allowed to play it and sing it, why does it matter whether i made it up or not? i think because i feel like the original writer has rights to the emotions or roots of the song that i don't or something. i don't know.
then again, i think a lot of stuff like that is also written from inspiration, and not directly from the persons brains. i think michael jackson was once in a situation where he wanted to carry out this idea he had, and one of his managers or something said to wait. and he said, i have to do this now, otherwise God's going to give someone else the idea.
haha
i wish i wrote that song before they did.
if only they didn't write that song, maybe i would have thought of it sooner or later. (haha it's possible okay)
and then i think:
dang it! and now i can't write that song because they already did. the lyrics are already taken, the melody is already taken, i lose.
if i think about it logically, it doesn't really make sense. i mean i'm still allowed to play it and sing it, why does it matter whether i made it up or not? i think because i feel like the original writer has rights to the emotions or roots of the song that i don't or something. i don't know.
then again, i think a lot of stuff like that is also written from inspiration, and not directly from the persons brains. i think michael jackson was once in a situation where he wanted to carry out this idea he had, and one of his managers or something said to wait. and he said, i have to do this now, otherwise God's going to give someone else the idea.
haha
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
if anyone has already done this save me years and thousand$ and let me know
one of my many life goals:
attain a huge awesome hardcover book of all the worlds fairy tales, from all different countries. not only like Grimm or hans christian andersen, but also those from like china, korea, poland, africa, guatemala, greece, india...
the book would be very pretty big. and the stories would be detailed.
i'm wondering if there is such a thing out there, i really hope so. i imagine i can't be the only one who would love such a thing.
Because the other day when i went to barnes and noble, i almost bought a book of all the grimm fairy tales because i had a gift card. But i didn't, because one: i already have a book like that kind of and two: because i just felt i wouldn't be satisfied with those books anymore, because i want a collection of those from all the cultures.
And i thought goshh.. maybe such a book doesn't exist. i mean i'm sure some form of it does, but maybe not a huge hardcover awesome one, with even obscure stories. it would probably be two or three hundred dollars.
and then i decided, i might just have to make it myself. that would be so amazing. also because i would get to see the fairy tales of all the countries, and like see their culture behind it and stuff. So every country i go to, i have to buy a book of fairy tales from that country. Hopefully it's in english, otherwise i'll need to get it translated. i want it to be from the country so that i know it's legit. I mean look what America's disney did to all the those stories, haha.
but if this sort of book already exists, that would be really great because then i could just buy it...
attain a huge awesome hardcover book of all the worlds fairy tales, from all different countries. not only like Grimm or hans christian andersen, but also those from like china, korea, poland, africa, guatemala, greece, india...
the book would be very pretty big. and the stories would be detailed.
i'm wondering if there is such a thing out there, i really hope so. i imagine i can't be the only one who would love such a thing.
Because the other day when i went to barnes and noble, i almost bought a book of all the grimm fairy tales because i had a gift card. But i didn't, because one: i already have a book like that kind of and two: because i just felt i wouldn't be satisfied with those books anymore, because i want a collection of those from all the cultures.
And i thought goshh.. maybe such a book doesn't exist. i mean i'm sure some form of it does, but maybe not a huge hardcover awesome one, with even obscure stories. it would probably be two or three hundred dollars.
and then i decided, i might just have to make it myself. that would be so amazing. also because i would get to see the fairy tales of all the countries, and like see their culture behind it and stuff. So every country i go to, i have to buy a book of fairy tales from that country. Hopefully it's in english, otherwise i'll need to get it translated. i want it to be from the country so that i know it's legit. I mean look what America's disney did to all the those stories, haha.
but if this sort of book already exists, that would be really great because then i could just buy it...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
i wonder what i did with my stamp collection.
i love it when it's cold on the outside, and warm inside the blankets. should i watch a movie tonight?
i can't believe i have monday off all jobs. that is so wonderful. my family is going out together i guess for a late birthday thing and goodbye before i leave, even though it's still another month and a half.
they asked me what i wanted to do that evening, i asked if we could all go to barnes and noble for a little bit and then go get italian somewhere. they have good dessert and a cozy atmosphere.
i wish i could afford new guitar strings. i wonder if i would be good friends with myself. i really don't think i would... i mean i definitely wouldn't be able to make myself laugh, that's for sure.
i would always get the urge to squeeze my other person but maybe the other one wouldn't want to be hugged. but we would have fun eating snacks together i think.
i can't believe i have monday off all jobs. that is so wonderful. my family is going out together i guess for a late birthday thing and goodbye before i leave, even though it's still another month and a half.
they asked me what i wanted to do that evening, i asked if we could all go to barnes and noble for a little bit and then go get italian somewhere. they have good dessert and a cozy atmosphere.
i wish i could afford new guitar strings. i wonder if i would be good friends with myself. i really don't think i would... i mean i definitely wouldn't be able to make myself laugh, that's for sure.
i would always get the urge to squeeze my other person but maybe the other one wouldn't want to be hugged. but we would have fun eating snacks together i think.
Friday, January 8, 2010
"i'm going to be a good manager!"
i think whenever anyone is screwed over or somehow injusticed by a higher up, be it their manager or teacher or parent, one of the first things they think is, " i am not going to be like that when i'm a [fill in the blank]." well, at least i speak for myself.
it sounds kind of terrible and whiney maybe, i don't know.
but on my way back home today most of my thoughts were occupied by how when i have my own cafe, i'm going to treat my employees fairly and not lose my temper or take my bad day out on them. firstly because that is not a good policy for life in general, and secondly because i don't want them to not like their job and to feel crummy. and thirdly because then they might continue the chain and take it out on the customers.
interesting, now that i think about it, being a server you're kind of at everyone's mercy. because the customer could say, "well ha! i'm not going to tip you!" and the manager could say, "well ha! i control your schedule and write your paycheck!"
and the bussers could say, "well ha! i clean your tables whenever i want and however well i want!" and the hostess could say, "well ha! i control how many tables you get!". and even if you get fed up and yell, "well ha! i quit!" the manager still controls you as your reference for future jobs.
good thing i'm on good terms with everyone.
anyway.
i forgot who said this, but someone noteworthy said, "you find comfort in those who agree with you, and growth in those who don't". or something like that.
i think that's very true. i think a good healthy struggle is necessary once in a while.
but i'm going to be a good manager.
it sounds kind of terrible and whiney maybe, i don't know.
but on my way back home today most of my thoughts were occupied by how when i have my own cafe, i'm going to treat my employees fairly and not lose my temper or take my bad day out on them. firstly because that is not a good policy for life in general, and secondly because i don't want them to not like their job and to feel crummy. and thirdly because then they might continue the chain and take it out on the customers.
interesting, now that i think about it, being a server you're kind of at everyone's mercy. because the customer could say, "well ha! i'm not going to tip you!" and the manager could say, "well ha! i control your schedule and write your paycheck!"
and the bussers could say, "well ha! i clean your tables whenever i want and however well i want!" and the hostess could say, "well ha! i control how many tables you get!". and even if you get fed up and yell, "well ha! i quit!" the manager still controls you as your reference for future jobs.
good thing i'm on good terms with everyone.
anyway.
i forgot who said this, but someone noteworthy said, "you find comfort in those who agree with you, and growth in those who don't". or something like that.
i think that's very true. i think a good healthy struggle is necessary once in a while.
but i'm going to be a good manager.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
i am not a smoker.
people have been telling me that i smell like smoke recently. except for one person just said that i smell like charcoal.
this is puzzling to me, because for the life of me i can't imagine where that smell would come from. i really didn't pick up smoking, promise. i couldn't afford it anyway.
this is puzzling to me, because for the life of me i can't imagine where that smell would come from. i really didn't pick up smoking, promise. i couldn't afford it anyway.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
money
it's so interesting to see how money works, and how people choose to spend it.
for example, working on a good day, i could make enough to buy an ipod. so if i were to go buy one, it would be kind of easy to just think, "hey, it's only one day of work". but that money is also a decent chunk towards saving for korea, or whatever goal someone might be saving to do.
the other day, someone at work asked if she could work some of my shift for me because she really needed the money. I said sure, and she went on to explain that she wanted to get a lot of work done on her car to fix it up and then make it really good to race with, because she loves racing. that is going to be at least several hundred dollars, more likely a thousand or two.
i feel like that is one of the last things i would ever spend money on, haha.
money can go very quickly on food, especially just going out to eat with friends or just getting a milkshake or boba a couple times a week. and it's a lot harder to comprehend the value.
working in a restaurant makes it even harder to save money. first of all, because you are more inclined to buy food there, because it is tempting and discounted and you are hungry. many people eat a meal a shift, which over time could add up very much. second of all, because ninety percent of your money is in cash, which is much easier to spend the next day than a check.
personally when i make money it goes straight to my bank account, i handle it as little as possible and then deposit so that i don't use it up on things i don't really need.
but some things i am willing to spend/overspend a little on. like once in a long while, having fun with my family or friends.
i sometimes buy starbucks when i'm nervous, even if i don't want it. i don't know why. some people won't buy starbucks because it's expensive and not difficult to find free coffee.
i can't bring myself to spend money on clothes or books. some people buy clothes like there's no tomorrow, and buy books they haven't read just to see if they'll like it.
i like books, but if i were to buy them they would have to be really special.
i don't know, it's just so interesting because everyone needs money, but we all need it for different things, after food and rent and stuff like that.
i always think it would be nice to live in a place with no money, i could imagine it very well but it's so different from today's world that the idea is crazy.
for example, working on a good day, i could make enough to buy an ipod. so if i were to go buy one, it would be kind of easy to just think, "hey, it's only one day of work". but that money is also a decent chunk towards saving for korea, or whatever goal someone might be saving to do.
the other day, someone at work asked if she could work some of my shift for me because she really needed the money. I said sure, and she went on to explain that she wanted to get a lot of work done on her car to fix it up and then make it really good to race with, because she loves racing. that is going to be at least several hundred dollars, more likely a thousand or two.
i feel like that is one of the last things i would ever spend money on, haha.
money can go very quickly on food, especially just going out to eat with friends or just getting a milkshake or boba a couple times a week. and it's a lot harder to comprehend the value.
working in a restaurant makes it even harder to save money. first of all, because you are more inclined to buy food there, because it is tempting and discounted and you are hungry. many people eat a meal a shift, which over time could add up very much. second of all, because ninety percent of your money is in cash, which is much easier to spend the next day than a check.
personally when i make money it goes straight to my bank account, i handle it as little as possible and then deposit so that i don't use it up on things i don't really need.
but some things i am willing to spend/overspend a little on. like once in a long while, having fun with my family or friends.
i sometimes buy starbucks when i'm nervous, even if i don't want it. i don't know why. some people won't buy starbucks because it's expensive and not difficult to find free coffee.
i can't bring myself to spend money on clothes or books. some people buy clothes like there's no tomorrow, and buy books they haven't read just to see if they'll like it.
i like books, but if i were to buy them they would have to be really special.
i don't know, it's just so interesting because everyone needs money, but we all need it for different things, after food and rent and stuff like that.
i always think it would be nice to live in a place with no money, i could imagine it very well but it's so different from today's world that the idea is crazy.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
my trip back home.
today i took a greyhound bus back to Houston,
so here is a little story about stuff that happened.
I was sitting in my priority seating place with all the disabled people (cause i paid five extra to be able to board first) and i was just sitting there waiting to board, and watching people. First, i was sitting there all alone, and then this blind man sat next to me. then after ten minutes or so, this blind lady was brought to the priority seating area too. I think she said something to the person who led her there, and sat down.
The man next to me kind of adjusted his seating a little, and then said with a lot of "Yolanda?!"
and Yolanda said, "Jose?! what are you doing here?? give me a hug!"
and they hugged and smiled and sat next to each other. And i don't know, i just thought it was really beautiful. Because i guess blind people are just so much more sensitive in all their other senses, and maybe emotionally too. And they just seem so trusting. I just thought, man i have two perfectly good eyes (well i think they're good eyes), and i always second guess myself when i think i recognize someone. But he couldn't even see anything.. but i don't know he just really felt his friend there, and she knew who he was.
Also, when he was brought to the seating area, the person who guided him just told him to sit down and he just sat without looking or feeling or anything. Idk i feel like they just learn to trust themselves and trust others a lot. I think people are conditioned to use their eyes to validate things, see it before they believe it.
I mean that can be dangerous too of course, but still.
when i was riding back, we passed a sign that said, "Thank you for not buying alcohol for people under 21".
I kind of felt like that billboard of gratitude really only applied to a very small percentage of people. Out of everyone that saw it, it eliminates the people that are under 21. And it eliminates the people who are over 21, and don't hang out and drink with younger people. And then of course it doesn't apply to everyone who does buy alcohol for big parties with lots of younger people. So what kind of comes off as a very broad billboard reiterating a law, can only be sincerely appreciated by people over the age of twenty one who have considered buying alcohol for a minor but didn't, or something. I don't know if that really makes sense...
like basically it's just trying to tell you the law. but if you take it literally the appreciation reaches out to very few people. but i guess those few people are the ones who always need the appreciation anyway.
so here is a little story about stuff that happened.
I was sitting in my priority seating place with all the disabled people (cause i paid five extra to be able to board first) and i was just sitting there waiting to board, and watching people. First, i was sitting there all alone, and then this blind man sat next to me. then after ten minutes or so, this blind lady was brought to the priority seating area too. I think she said something to the person who led her there, and sat down.
The man next to me kind of adjusted his seating a little, and then said with a lot of "Yolanda?!"
and Yolanda said, "Jose?! what are you doing here?? give me a hug!"
and they hugged and smiled and sat next to each other. And i don't know, i just thought it was really beautiful. Because i guess blind people are just so much more sensitive in all their other senses, and maybe emotionally too. And they just seem so trusting. I just thought, man i have two perfectly good eyes (well i think they're good eyes), and i always second guess myself when i think i recognize someone. But he couldn't even see anything.. but i don't know he just really felt his friend there, and she knew who he was.
Also, when he was brought to the seating area, the person who guided him just told him to sit down and he just sat without looking or feeling or anything. Idk i feel like they just learn to trust themselves and trust others a lot. I think people are conditioned to use their eyes to validate things, see it before they believe it.
I mean that can be dangerous too of course, but still.
when i was riding back, we passed a sign that said, "Thank you for not buying alcohol for people under 21".
I kind of felt like that billboard of gratitude really only applied to a very small percentage of people. Out of everyone that saw it, it eliminates the people that are under 21. And it eliminates the people who are over 21, and don't hang out and drink with younger people. And then of course it doesn't apply to everyone who does buy alcohol for big parties with lots of younger people. So what kind of comes off as a very broad billboard reiterating a law, can only be sincerely appreciated by people over the age of twenty one who have considered buying alcohol for a minor but didn't, or something. I don't know if that really makes sense...
like basically it's just trying to tell you the law. but if you take it literally the appreciation reaches out to very few people. but i guess those few people are the ones who always need the appreciation anyway.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)