i am going to wake up tomorrow...

...hopefully. and i say tomorrow because i mean tomorrow and not today.
simply put, i wish i could go to sleep before midnight and get a healthy sleep.

tragically enough the determination that was in my title does not seem like it is going to be followed through, as it has just turned twelve o'clock.

i feel like there are a few times when i really regret the past hour i spent, and those times are always either when i am on the computer too long watching youtube or something lame (major time waster), or when i just spent an excessive amount of money on food that was really no that great and is now eaten away and gone. it's like eating dollar bills i tell ya.

anyway good night. i am going to wake up today...

...hopefully.

so not twenty minutes ago, i told my sister that i would start paying her to do the things that i want to do but don't have time for. kind of like my busy work that she can do, just little things that i wish were organized or recopied and whatnot.

and i think it's funny, because earlier today, i took another job (against my better judgment). one of my coworkers also has a makeup business, and she wants to hire me to do her busy work that she wants done but doesn't have time for. like calling people for their appointments and mailing things out, just like scheduling book stuff.

so isn't it funny that looking at it logically, the time i spend doing someone elses work and being paid to do could be used doing my own work and not paying someone else to do. granted i'll obviously be making more money than i'm paying my sister, but still.

it's just funny how that works. i guess people are willing to pay for the things that are important enough have done, but unimportant enough not to be prioritized.

i think i'd still rather be a shoe shiner.

how to make a crummy day better.

today, someone at work was having a bad day.
i was thinking about what i do when i have a bad day, and i realized, that i do indeed have a system for ending a day well.
well mostly it depends on if it's bad for a good reason or a simple silly one. this technique works best if it's just a crummy day, vs. if something very terrible has happened.

step one, think about something that you really enjoy, or would like to do. this can be something like taking a nap, watching a favorite movie, calling someone, or drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows.

step two, decide what you really feel like doing, and feel the excitement. this is what you want to do. any cravings? for some buffalo wings or something? give in. this is what i'm going to do when i get home/ go to my room/ finish my homework. for example, " i really really can't wait to come home, give my sister these milano cookies i brought her, and just watch a movie or brush my teeth and get all clean snuggle in bed, while thinking of nice things. plus also i am very grateful that i don't need to go to work tomorrow."
this was actually mine for the day, and i am happy to say that i am halfway through. i guess you could say today was a slight struggle.

step three, carry out your plan. if you like, you can write about it. sometimes this makes you feel better. i did that too, except it was in my japanese diary so i let it out in a whopping three words. "kyo wa muzukashi-katta." today was complicated.

it felt great.
maybe if i knew more japanese i could write more, but this will do.

step four, feel the excitement, again. enjoy and love it.
don't go to bed upset.

i hope you can always end your day well.

p.s. he's a girl. i couldn't find her to tell her something, and someone said, oh tulia's in the restroom. so i thought, "ah-ha!" and i went into the girls restroom just to see if he was there, and lo and behold.
call me sherlock estelle.

i'm a terrible person.

So i have this coworker. We will call this person... Tulia, because that is their name, and Tulia has no way of ever seeing this page.

Now that we have our background information, i will proceed to write about my problem regarding Tulia.

So when i first came to work in the summertime, as the new girl of course i had to get to know everyone else, or whatever. i didn't really do that but you know, it's kind of unavoidable if you're going to be working together. it just happens.
So this guy is very friendly, hispanic, young, maybe twenty. He/She's one of those hispanic people that looks white.
Okay so now we know something is kind of weird about this person.

I didn't think anything was weird about him/her at all, actually. I never even questioned his/her gender at all until yesterday, not even in the slightest. I thought this person was obviously a male.

Well unfortunately yesterday, while i was talking to some other person, they referred to Tulia as, "she". I thought, well that's weird, but maybe it was a slip of the tongue.

The next day he continued to call this person, "her", and "she". and each time i grew a little more uneasy, because i was realizing that this was obviously going to be an issue. now that i think about it, i guess he coulldd pass as a girl... and his name is Tulia, ending in ia, which is usually a feminine characteristic. How do you ask if someone is a man or a woman? obviously i can't rely on my own natural human instincts or observations with this one because clearly i am questioning myself.
And i can't just ask someone else, i don't see that smoothing over very easily.

i've decided that there are a few options.
1) He is a man
(a) the other guy has a permanent joke and always calls tulia a girl.
(b) the other guy just accidentally keeps calling him "her"
2) He is a woman.
(a) She just looks and sounds very masculine for a woman
(b) She had a sex change.

every time i convince myself that she HAS to be a man, i'm just like well gosh.
it just doesn't add up. and i feel kind of awkward that i've been friends with this person for a few months and still don't know their gender.

i think the best i can do is just wait until he/she needs to use the restroom, and watch which one they walk into.

chocolate should be rich and dark/creamy.

i think there are many things that should never be made chocolate flavored, which unfortunately are made chocolate flavored. i suppose to appeal to consumers, probably women and children in particular. chocolate ice cream chocolate milk chocolate cake and chocolate chocolate is okay. nutella is great. but i'm not a big fan of chocolate flavored things that are kinda weird.. like in my book there would not be any chocolate candy such as tootsie rolls, no chocolate lollipops, no chocolate licorice sandwich things. no chocolate ice cream cones.

no chocolate cereal, no chocolate yogurt, no chocolate wafer things.

it's just too weird, i don't know somehow they just don't match. somehow i'm just not feelin it.

no chocolate rice krispies.

international plane ticket for free?

that would be really great. let's see if i can do it...

i think i could be defined as a monkey kept in captivity.

i like the people i work with.
i had enchiladas for dinner, and a parfait from starbucks before that.
i don't have time to use ebay.
i wish i was still good at reading sheet music quickly.
i think i am becoming more ambitious, but,
i don't usually like to talk about what i seriously want to do in the future.
i don't like to talk about a lot of things.
plus also i forget to tell people news about me a lot, i guess.
between the two, lots of people think i don't like them very much, which is not true.
i hope one day i will own a big, huge, hardcover book of fairy tales.
i wonder if i will ever want a dog or a cat.
i am running out of my favorite iced tea,
and also ovaltine.
p.s. i don't want to brag, but i think i can make a very good glass of chocolate milk.
i learned that monkeys that are kept in captivity tend to be nearsighted.
i think that golden oreos, the vanilla ones with white cream, are deep fried.
today, i laughed more than usual.
i am trying to go to bed earlier but it doesn't seem to be working.
i watched many movies this weekend.

these are all fragments from this past week.

dear banana:

oh banana,
such an interesting fruit. you are not juicy like the rest of your family, but when i blend you up in a smoothie, i can drink you up like i could not any other fruit. and oh what texture you give to this smoothie of mine!
Also, you are designed incredibly intelligently. i believe you are the only fruit that peels so easily and oh so deliberately, always in the same straight formation. the only fruit that could compare is some citrus, but still they are sometimes difficult to peel and go in all directions, and so i must retract the above statement because ultimately there is no comparison.
and so versatile! i can eat you in a sandwich, in my cereal or yogurt, dipped in chocolate, in banana bread or pudding, in a smoothie of course, or just by yourself. Of course there are so many more ways i can devour you and so much more praise i could share, but i shall stop there, to save you from the possibility of getting a big ego.

i marvel at your grandness, but can only do so from a distance.
if i were a fruit or you were a being, things might be different.

yours truly.

someone changed my clock for day light savings.

okay so it's not really my clock i guess, but i'm the only one that ever comes in this room really, and i'm pretty sure i'm the only one who looks at the clock.
anyway, i guess it's nothing really very noteworthy. i just wonder who it was.

i like to watch movies now. or maybe i am just going through a movie phase. recently i've watched: james and the giant peach, toy story, zoolander, mary and max, my sisters keeper.. and then some other ones i can't really remember.
i really enjoyed watching them, and i want to watch more. one's i've seen and havent, old(hunchback of notre dame), new(slumdog millionare hehe), very old(frankenstein's monster), very new(where the wild things aree)...but even though watching a movie isn't the most social of activities, i just don't like to watch them alone.

yeahh actually now that i think about it it's probably just a phase. because usually i'm not really a movie person.
just like my knitting phase, my piano phase, my boy clothes phase, and my corn dog phase.