moving along

so things seem to be just moving along a lot.
you know how sometimes some people (including me) just kind of think that life is just standing still? well that is very much the opposite of right now.
i feel like i'm on a train that is moving along, but for once i'm the conductor.

it kind of seems like a lot of other people are moving along too. lots of things are happening everywhere, and every day you hear something new.
i guess things are always moving along,
but sometimes it's just really obvious,
and sometimes not.

they suckered me in.

so today i bought a straightener from one of those mall kiosks. the ones where the sales people don't leave you alone...
i kind of wanted to get one because my sister wants one for christmas. but i had already bought her a present, so i didn't really know if i wanted one but i figured i'd let them loose on their sales skills.

so they're really good at what they do.

it's funny too, because the lady was telling me how this particular straightener does not damage your hair, and it makes it so silky smooth. while i was staring at her hair, which looked incredibly damaged to me...
i mean there are many reasons why someones hair could be damaged but yeah i just thought that was kind of funny haha

but yeah i do know that those kinds are really nice, and it's the thing my sister wanted too i guess it's worth it anyway.
i was able to get it for a lot cheaper than the original price, which of course was a "special deal" only for me... :)

i need to let this out somewhere.

There is a little walkway before you reach the restrooms in my restaurant.
like you know how some places have a door, and then a little room that lets you take a little walk while you double take at two more doors and decide which one is designated for your gender? (side note, this process is especially difficult at my particular restaurant because "man" and "woman" are written in italian. i have seen many confused customers.)

well anyway that little walk is always really uncomfortable to me. not just because sometimes i can feel people watching me to see which door i go into before they make their decision, but because it smells like food. and i guess that might be excusable for a restaurant, i don't really know, but i can tell you it's not a pleasant trip. when my brain puts together "food" and "restroom", i think digested food, or partially digested food going back up, or food that is causing bloating and bodily gases.
i feel like a public restroom should smell like vanilla or lavender, or at the very least handsoap or pinesol.

not only is this delicious smell in our restrooms, but it is in the dining room too. Every day when i walk people back i hear the same four phrases, and at least one or two of the following from each table:

- it's freezing!
- it smells great in here!
- can we sit over there instead?
- it's too dark in here.

sometimes i get all four.

and three of those i'm used to and can deal with. two of them i actually agree with. but one of them makes me nauseous, because when people tell me it smells good in here it reminds me that it smells bad in here.

i wonder if i'm the only one that thinks this.

poem of a complicated day: a true story

sometimes you just have those days
where everything is complicated.
you wake up to your phone ringing
and your sister is home sick.

you learn you have more things to do
before the week is over.
your bank account is being screwy,
everything's redick.

there is a little time frame
of unnecessary drama
or am i just too laid back? you ponder
as eating a licorice stick.

you gather everyone to watch a movie
to calm the day down some.
no one else agrees on "Frankenstein"
but you can't stand "White Chicks".

movie idea tossed aside,
you decide to take a nap.
again, awaken by the phone
this better be a real person and not a telemarketer.

you get the news, the car's still gone
you might be late to work
with forty minutes and a stressed manager
you need a backup, quick.

finally everything figured out
actually happy to be working
there are poinsettias all around the room
and you're thinking of saint nick.

your favorite holiday is almost here
and this day is almost over
you get to sleep in tomorrow morning
your manager wasn't a dick

you are sitting in a comfy chair
you are typing up your day
you are happy here, just full of yogurt
and hearing your clock tick.

i am going to wake up tomorrow...

...hopefully. and i say tomorrow because i mean tomorrow and not today.
simply put, i wish i could go to sleep before midnight and get a healthy sleep.

tragically enough the determination that was in my title does not seem like it is going to be followed through, as it has just turned twelve o'clock.

i feel like there are a few times when i really regret the past hour i spent, and those times are always either when i am on the computer too long watching youtube or something lame (major time waster), or when i just spent an excessive amount of money on food that was really no that great and is now eaten away and gone. it's like eating dollar bills i tell ya.

anyway good night. i am going to wake up today...

...hopefully.

so not twenty minutes ago, i told my sister that i would start paying her to do the things that i want to do but don't have time for. kind of like my busy work that she can do, just little things that i wish were organized or recopied and whatnot.

and i think it's funny, because earlier today, i took another job (against my better judgment). one of my coworkers also has a makeup business, and she wants to hire me to do her busy work that she wants done but doesn't have time for. like calling people for their appointments and mailing things out, just like scheduling book stuff.

so isn't it funny that looking at it logically, the time i spend doing someone elses work and being paid to do could be used doing my own work and not paying someone else to do. granted i'll obviously be making more money than i'm paying my sister, but still.

it's just funny how that works. i guess people are willing to pay for the things that are important enough have done, but unimportant enough not to be prioritized.

i think i'd still rather be a shoe shiner.

how to make a crummy day better.

today, someone at work was having a bad day.
i was thinking about what i do when i have a bad day, and i realized, that i do indeed have a system for ending a day well.
well mostly it depends on if it's bad for a good reason or a simple silly one. this technique works best if it's just a crummy day, vs. if something very terrible has happened.

step one, think about something that you really enjoy, or would like to do. this can be something like taking a nap, watching a favorite movie, calling someone, or drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows.

step two, decide what you really feel like doing, and feel the excitement. this is what you want to do. any cravings? for some buffalo wings or something? give in. this is what i'm going to do when i get home/ go to my room/ finish my homework. for example, " i really really can't wait to come home, give my sister these milano cookies i brought her, and just watch a movie or brush my teeth and get all clean snuggle in bed, while thinking of nice things. plus also i am very grateful that i don't need to go to work tomorrow."
this was actually mine for the day, and i am happy to say that i am halfway through. i guess you could say today was a slight struggle.

step three, carry out your plan. if you like, you can write about it. sometimes this makes you feel better. i did that too, except it was in my japanese diary so i let it out in a whopping three words. "kyo wa muzukashi-katta." today was complicated.

it felt great.
maybe if i knew more japanese i could write more, but this will do.

step four, feel the excitement, again. enjoy and love it.
don't go to bed upset.

i hope you can always end your day well.

p.s. he's a girl. i couldn't find her to tell her something, and someone said, oh tulia's in the restroom. so i thought, "ah-ha!" and i went into the girls restroom just to see if he was there, and lo and behold.
call me sherlock estelle.

i'm a terrible person.

So i have this coworker. We will call this person... Tulia, because that is their name, and Tulia has no way of ever seeing this page.

Now that we have our background information, i will proceed to write about my problem regarding Tulia.

So when i first came to work in the summertime, as the new girl of course i had to get to know everyone else, or whatever. i didn't really do that but you know, it's kind of unavoidable if you're going to be working together. it just happens.
So this guy is very friendly, hispanic, young, maybe twenty. He/She's one of those hispanic people that looks white.
Okay so now we know something is kind of weird about this person.

I didn't think anything was weird about him/her at all, actually. I never even questioned his/her gender at all until yesterday, not even in the slightest. I thought this person was obviously a male.

Well unfortunately yesterday, while i was talking to some other person, they referred to Tulia as, "she". I thought, well that's weird, but maybe it was a slip of the tongue.

The next day he continued to call this person, "her", and "she". and each time i grew a little more uneasy, because i was realizing that this was obviously going to be an issue. now that i think about it, i guess he coulldd pass as a girl... and his name is Tulia, ending in ia, which is usually a feminine characteristic. How do you ask if someone is a man or a woman? obviously i can't rely on my own natural human instincts or observations with this one because clearly i am questioning myself.
And i can't just ask someone else, i don't see that smoothing over very easily.

i've decided that there are a few options.
1) He is a man
(a) the other guy has a permanent joke and always calls tulia a girl.
(b) the other guy just accidentally keeps calling him "her"
2) He is a woman.
(a) She just looks and sounds very masculine for a woman
(b) She had a sex change.

every time i convince myself that she HAS to be a man, i'm just like well gosh.
it just doesn't add up. and i feel kind of awkward that i've been friends with this person for a few months and still don't know their gender.

i think the best i can do is just wait until he/she needs to use the restroom, and watch which one they walk into.

chocolate should be rich and dark/creamy.

i think there are many things that should never be made chocolate flavored, which unfortunately are made chocolate flavored. i suppose to appeal to consumers, probably women and children in particular. chocolate ice cream chocolate milk chocolate cake and chocolate chocolate is okay. nutella is great. but i'm not a big fan of chocolate flavored things that are kinda weird.. like in my book there would not be any chocolate candy such as tootsie rolls, no chocolate lollipops, no chocolate licorice sandwich things. no chocolate ice cream cones.

no chocolate cereal, no chocolate yogurt, no chocolate wafer things.

it's just too weird, i don't know somehow they just don't match. somehow i'm just not feelin it.

no chocolate rice krispies.

international plane ticket for free?

that would be really great. let's see if i can do it...

i think i could be defined as a monkey kept in captivity.

i like the people i work with.
i had enchiladas for dinner, and a parfait from starbucks before that.
i don't have time to use ebay.
i wish i was still good at reading sheet music quickly.
i think i am becoming more ambitious, but,
i don't usually like to talk about what i seriously want to do in the future.
i don't like to talk about a lot of things.
plus also i forget to tell people news about me a lot, i guess.
between the two, lots of people think i don't like them very much, which is not true.
i hope one day i will own a big, huge, hardcover book of fairy tales.
i wonder if i will ever want a dog or a cat.
i am running out of my favorite iced tea,
and also ovaltine.
p.s. i don't want to brag, but i think i can make a very good glass of chocolate milk.
i learned that monkeys that are kept in captivity tend to be nearsighted.
i think that golden oreos, the vanilla ones with white cream, are deep fried.
today, i laughed more than usual.
i am trying to go to bed earlier but it doesn't seem to be working.
i watched many movies this weekend.

these are all fragments from this past week.

dear banana:

oh banana,
such an interesting fruit. you are not juicy like the rest of your family, but when i blend you up in a smoothie, i can drink you up like i could not any other fruit. and oh what texture you give to this smoothie of mine!
Also, you are designed incredibly intelligently. i believe you are the only fruit that peels so easily and oh so deliberately, always in the same straight formation. the only fruit that could compare is some citrus, but still they are sometimes difficult to peel and go in all directions, and so i must retract the above statement because ultimately there is no comparison.
and so versatile! i can eat you in a sandwich, in my cereal or yogurt, dipped in chocolate, in banana bread or pudding, in a smoothie of course, or just by yourself. Of course there are so many more ways i can devour you and so much more praise i could share, but i shall stop there, to save you from the possibility of getting a big ego.

i marvel at your grandness, but can only do so from a distance.
if i were a fruit or you were a being, things might be different.

yours truly.

someone changed my clock for day light savings.

okay so it's not really my clock i guess, but i'm the only one that ever comes in this room really, and i'm pretty sure i'm the only one who looks at the clock.
anyway, i guess it's nothing really very noteworthy. i just wonder who it was.

i like to watch movies now. or maybe i am just going through a movie phase. recently i've watched: james and the giant peach, toy story, zoolander, mary and max, my sisters keeper.. and then some other ones i can't really remember.
i really enjoyed watching them, and i want to watch more. one's i've seen and havent, old(hunchback of notre dame), new(slumdog millionare hehe), very old(frankenstein's monster), very new(where the wild things aree)...but even though watching a movie isn't the most social of activities, i just don't like to watch them alone.

yeahh actually now that i think about it it's probably just a phase. because usually i'm not really a movie person.
just like my knitting phase, my piano phase, my boy clothes phase, and my corn dog phase.

this is great.

my phone is back!
the problem was the charger hehe. so i had to go buy a new one...
gosh i go through those things like a pack of gummy worms.

anyway, i'm very happy for that. life is good.

starbucks is removing all artificial ingredients from their edibles/ drinkables.

let's make it a good weekend, shall we? happy halloween

aw, man

my phone's broken.
i would hear it all the time, my phones broken! lost my phone! yadda yadda yadda

so it's kind of just like, whatever it happens all the time. to everyone else, i'm just another one of them. to me, it just really really sucks, and kind of makes me uneasy because i really can't afford a new one by any means.

i sang it a song, and patted it a lot and i really really hope god loves me enough to send some magic my way.
i learned my lesson i promise. plus also i'm done being melodramatic.

today's thoughts

today it rained a lot. i love rain.
it's so hard to get out of bed when i wake up to rain.

i think life is pretty amazing. it blows me away just to think about earth, and life, and the ecosystem.
i don't know who, but someone said something like,
if we only got to see the stars once every thousand years, then when they came out, everyone would be so amazed and so excited at the beauty and grandness of them. but we get that gift every night.
isn't that crazy? i've been thinking about that lately, and everything else wonderful that we have.

today, my mom was telling me that i don't do my dishes right away and it's not a good thing. the thing is, i like for dishes to save up until there's a decent amount of dishes so that i don't waste soap, otherwise i'd be pumping soap just for one or two dishes many times a day, when i could be using the same amount for all of them. and saving soap, and so and saving the environment.
i think people find it hard to take me seriously a lot,
haha.

it's a beautiful day!

Man it's such a nice day. it's so breezy and cloudy and gorgeous. I just want to go to the park and go on a picnic. All the windows are open and it feels so nice and beautiful, but then at the same time it's just torture because i know i can't have time to enjoy it, i have to go to work for the rest of the day.
I can't wait til Christmas season.

I wish i could get paid to go on picnics.

secret:

sometimes at work, when i take people to be seated and hand them their menus, i get a littlee bit jealous that i'm not going to be the one sitting down for a couple hours, eating delicious rich italian food.
it also happens when we're busy, and i write peoples names down on a wait list sheet.

not really, thanks though.

Why do people keep asking me if i want to go golfing?
three different, unrelated people in the past two weeks. and that's three more than the last eighteen years put together.

is it golf season or something?

my first day

Well, i decided to just make one of these. I actually don't know anyone that has one except marten haha. hi, marten, if you're out there. wait maybe jinhan too. i'll have to do some research.
I thought about using xanga, but the fact that there's so many people that have one but don't use it makes it kind of a depressing place to write, i think. plus my xanga's just embarrassing.

i like this. it's fresh and clean and new.